"In great pain can be found great comfort". Never could find out who owns that quote. Pain is found everywhere. From loss of life, injury, old age, and yes; even from good things like learning Algebra, taking on new responsibilities, and trying to just be a better person. So are pain and comfort just two sides of the same mirror?
The athlete exercises his/her muscle to develop greater strength and endurance, yet there is great pain in the process of growth. The scholar continues to add upon their repertoire of knowledge by spending long hours agonizing over its purpose and place. All things seem to require pain in order to gain comfort right? Let’s test this theory a bit.
Will the parents that lost a young child to cancer ever find comfort in the loss? Will the soldier that lost his/her legs every stop missing them? You ask “where is the comfort after the all pain in those situations”? My response is: there is no comfort in it…. So maybe we have this all wrong…or maybe we need to understand that pain and comfort are not “cause and effect” but instead a path back to being innocent and whole again. Perhaps without seeking comfort in the pain you can never be whole again.
Well now a short story about someone in the loop of pain and comfort:
A person that I would like to consider a friend recently refreshed my views on this. He woke up on October 2nd on the floor of his Phoenix house realizing that he could not feel anything on his left side. He had suffered a stroke. He was immediately brought to the ICU of the local hospital. He has gone through weeks of therapy since and is finally at home continuing his "out patient" therapy. As they say in the song "In a New York Minute" his life changed. What makes this a little more personal is that unlike me, he was the epitome of health…rode his bicycle to work, worked out, low body fat, and yes, a smaller list of vises than I myself have…..OK daughter MUCH Smaller list…oh and I almost forgot…younger too.
I initially met him when we were both younger and full of "spit and vinegar". We both played flag football against each other many years ago and believe me, there was never any quit in him. He attacked everything in life in that manor (Boxing, Football, Karate, a debate, and trying to break the bank in Vegas to name a few...). He felt he could always win at anything. There was fight in him no matter what the game was. Now he has entered a game he has never played before. Fighting to re-define what he will become. We all do this from time to time but the stakes of this game are much higher than most.
So why this story? Mom always taught me it is not what happens to you in life that matters; it’s what you do with your life afterwards. How you react to life is ninety-nine cents out of a dollar! We choose to keep pain just as we choose to seek comfort. Mom grew older and eventually found the need to be in a wheel chair however she never stopped exploring the need for comfort. Although she was in constant pain she never made that her mantra. She continued to realize that her mind was fresh and full of energy and found comfort in the things she could do. A few days before she finally passed she told me that she was ready to find a new comfort. She asked me to look after my Dad (he was in the hospital having an operation on his brain …cancer) and told me she was ready to let go to the comfort of the unknown. While some people look at this as giving up I do not believe she did. When the comfort of the physical is no longer available you can only seek the comfort of the soul. She completed the cycle and passed of a heart attack a day later. I have to tell the truth…because of her strength, I was OK with it. She has taught me well……well let’s get back to the original story.
The stroke victims name is Jim and he helped me to remember my Mother’s lesson. While he is recovering from his stroke he and his family will have a long road ahead that will provide many new turns in his life. Many people would wallow in their loss….and just seek the pain. That is a coarse Jim has never chosen. Knowing him and reading from his blog (http://www.other-road.blogspot.com/) he will find the comfort in his situation and turn it into something that will motivate and inspire others. He already has begun and he doesn't even know it. Giving freely from the heart is the answer...being Innocent the goal. Because as he has said "The solution is each of us caring for each other, one person at a time". He will eventually win at this game as he has all of the past ones. Winning is just another form of comfort. And beside, that is just what is "written on his heart". Prove me right Jimmy......
So my learning for today is complete but I guess my in initial statement was off a little…should have been “In great pain can be found great comfort…if you look for it”.
Mom is smiling….…
Next up Chapter two of the book......for Emily....
