What things are we allowed to get angry at? My list shifts like the shedding fur from my Cattle dog Chelsea as the fan blows it across the floor. Perhaps it all depends on your perspective at the time? Examining what anger is may be the key. It has been said that comedy is "delighting in others misfortunes" [1]. There is actually a German word used to describe it......Schadenfreude. But is there a word to describe anger? Well one definition I like is:
Anger is a normal emotion with a wide range of intensity, from mild irritation and frustration to rage. It is a reaction to a perceived threat to ourselves, our loved ones, our property, our self-image, or some part of our identity. Anger is a warning bell that tells us that something is wrong [2]
Well let us break that down a little...Can you be angry but not emotional? Common sense would say no. Anger is an emotion. Does a perceived threat always lead to just anger? That also would probably be answered "no" by most people. Do you get angry every time something is wrong...probably not. This anger stuff is pretty tricky since it does not seem to have any consistent laws that cause it. Without the rules of "cause and effect" invoked how do we understand it? Perhaps we need to examine it from the perspective of the mirror. Lets go back to childhood....Why does one child get angry when you make them eat their vegetable and another just accept it? It it just simply that one likes the taste and the other does not? Or is it even more devious......is it that they were taught to like it? Can anger be nothing more than something we are taught to feel. Without "cause and effect" what other explanations can there be? So if that is the case can't we also be taught to not feel anger? Maybe anger is no more than a tool we are taught to use to obtain an end result. Do we just use anger to obtain a result? Now there is a "cause and effect"! One problem though....what happens when we use anger as a tool against ourselves? Self hatred is not a good healthy condition nor does it assist us in obtaining a good result. Perhaps we should use a different tool to obtain results on ourselves. Forgiveness, love, happiness, they to are also tools. The tough part is learning to use them in place of anger. We all struggle with this. Somehow I know the mirror has the answer. I will keep gazing into it and hope it appears.......
Let me just say that, as a child, I found vegetables very threatening!! ;)
ReplyDeleteI would tend to agree with the statement that people use anger and are taught to use anger to obtain an end result. Being around the public in an adoption (animal rescue) setting and interacting with them in a way where I have something they want - the moment they sense I might not comply with their desires they become very defensive and some do get angry with me. Instead of working through the "whys" of it, 99.9% of the time they will shut down and go into attack mode thinking I'm personally judging them when I'm only trying to find our animals the best homes possible.
I think a lot of the hang ups these days has to do with the fact that we do not have to rely on one another for anything like we once had to. We've forgotten how to appreciate and be gentle with one another. Which in turn truly leads to appreciating and being gentle with ones self.